5 words to add to your dictionary in 2016

Ever wondered what to call removing fecal matter from the back of the toilet bowl with your pee?

English is wibbly-wobbly and fluid. Some suggestions to cope with modern life.


Phumble

[/ f ʌ m b ə l /]

verb

phumbled, phumbling

  1. The unnecessary and repetitive act of unlocking and then re-locking a smartphone, particularly an iPhone: Paul phumbled on his phone and didn’t really pay attention to what they were saying. Jessica had seen Paul phumble on his phone so many times she now knew the unlock code and she promised herself to send something embarrassing to his friends later that evening.

noun

  • The act of phumbling

Urelize

[/ juː r ɛ r ɪ l aɪ z /]

verb

urelized, urelizing

  1. The action of removing fecal matter stuck to the back of a toilet seat with your urine stream. Jim smiled with satisfaction as he urelized the shit off the back of the toilet. Alex flushed the toilet and lifted the lid to inspect the damage. It wasn’t good but he didn’t need to use the brush because he still had to piss. Now he was the urelizer.

Related forms

  • urelizer, noun
  • urelizeable, adjective

Synonyms

  • disinfect

 Krassus

[/ k r æ s ʌ s /]

adjective

krassuser, krassusest

  1. Someone (particularly a friend) who acts like a sex pest in a group situation causing one or more members of the group to be excluded from conversation. Fuck, do you remember how much of a krassus cunt Rick was last night?

Related forms

  • krassusly, adverb
  • krasusness, noun

Synonyms


Gruggish

[/ g l ʌ ɡ ɪ ʃ /]

adjective

  1. The feeling of guilt that comes from a night of heavy drinking especially if you’ve done nothing wrong. Jim was in a gruggish hell that morning. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly and begun the difficult task of trying to figure out where he’d fucked up the night before.

related forms

  • gruggishly, adverb

Arpentment

[/ əˈ (r) pɑː (ə) n tm (ə) nt /]

noun

  1. A living space which on first appearances looks like a penthouse but on close inspection is more like an apartment with penthouse like features. Luke said to Jim and Suzie: ‘It’s the best penthouse in the building, possibly even the city’. Jim whispered to Suzie, ‘More like an arpentment’. Suzie tried to muffle a laugh.

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