The walking paces of Amsterdam

The people of Amsterdam walk to the pace of their own drum

The Amsterdam red light district (RLD) is the world’s largest open air museum. Sometimes the people are the best thing about visiting a museum.


You can tell a lot about a person by the way they walk

It doesn’t matter what pace you walk in Amsterdam, as long as you’re comfortable in your sneakers.

Pervert pace

This is strange. You’d think people on the cruise for sex would take their time checking-out the women murated behind glass. In fact, the opposite is true. The pervs (as no stranger to the RLD, I mean this in an un-pompus way) walk noticeably quicker.

Groups of men, hands tucked deeply in their pockets and eyes mostly pointed down, burst forth from the cramped alleys of the RLD like ejaculate from a penis. The stance may or may not account for sexual insecurity, or intimidation at the amazonian sensuality of the women as they proffer passers-by for sex.

The couples pace

The word inspection comes to mind. The women watch their men, and the other women, like a Sergent on parade. The men adopt an ‘I only have eyes for you’ stance, which, in most cases, is absolutely phony.

Locals pace

1000% times faster than the perverts. Their eyes even further down, and if possible, hands deeper in their pockets. Walking at this speed may as well be the same as wearing a sign that says, ‘Not for sex… I happen to work this way’.

Dealer’s pace

Although the dealers are often stationary on alley corners. The dealer’s pace can matche the pace of anyone else if there’s a hint of a sale.

Pregnant pause…

One thing I love about the RLD is that it attracts people from all ‘walks’ of life in all life stages — pregnant women included. For obvious reasons: slow with the occasional break to sooth a sore back.

Pissed pace

More of a stagger than a pace, usually slow: “Who put this wall here?”

Drugged-up pace

Due to the legal status, magic-truffles are the culprits here and usually result in a starry-eyed fucked-up wobble of a walk. Trippers tend to walk the same route over and over again trying to find where they’re going, lost in the homogeneous alleys, looking for a landmark such as a windmill or coffee shop.


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