Family Feud wrap-up 25/12


Embarrassing people can be forgiven, but never forgotten.


Premise: Two families/participants/whatever try to win prizes by guessing the top eight or some reason seven responses to a mundane A.F public survey.

For example.

Things parents consider before choosing a school for their kids:

Survey Says:

  1. Location
  2. Fees
  3. Distance
  4. Teachers
  5. Reputation
  6. Programs
  7. Academic results

I say:

Believe it… Academia is actually on the bottom of the list. Family feud may just be an anthropological window into the backward mentality of the Australian/human psyche. It would be interesting to compare survey results of the different countries. This Wikipedia article lists a healthy number of European countries that have their own variation on the show. In France, it’s called Une Famille en or.

Something that can be cut:

Survey Says:

  1. Hair
  2. Paper
  3. Meat
  4. Fruit
  5. Grass
  6. Cake
  7. Finger
  8. Nails

Now, this one, I’d love to see.

Something you find annoying about the host:

Survey Says:

  1. Hair
  2. Teeth
  3. (Can do) attitude
  4. Smile
  5. Attire
  6. Riffing with the contestants
  7. Ability to make puns

I say:

While not an actually question, it should be.

One last announcement.

While it can be fun to play at home and try and guess the answers to the quiz with your family members and friends, under no circumstances are you to bring this shit into your home by purchasing the board-game — yes, it does exist. Looking past the fact that people with a decent memory will only get, like, two or three cycles of the question cards — the ones with the ridiculous survey questions and answers — before they are defunct; this game is a quick way to make people hate each other.

For example, it brought out the worst in my mother, she turned into a snivelly little competitive cunt. A woman who has sub-par intelligence (arguably) was able to trump us all, proving once and for all that this game appeals to the lowest common denominator. I do realize that perhaps it’s the people and not the game, that the same Christmas fiasco would have gone down if we were playing Monopoly, Scrabble or even Connect Four. But I’m just saying, as a public service, play at your own risk of being turned into a competitive dead-shit.